A few days ago, my sweet dog Pepper was taken from us too soon in a tragic accident. Now, like so many others facing loss this season, I'm learning to navigate the stark contrast between holiday cheer and the raw reality of grief.
The truth about losing a pet – something many only understand if they've experienced it – is that it's not "just a dog." Pepper wasn't just a pet; she was family - a source of pure joy. We’ve actually lost two dogs this year with the sudden passing of Merlin in January. Although I didn’t live with Pepper anymore I still loved seeing her when I pick up my daughters from Sean’s house.
For those experiencing loss during what's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, I want to share what I'm learning about grief and healing. I actually recorded a podcast about this if you want to listen here:
It's okay to not be okay. The pressure to be festive during the holidays can feel suffocating when you're grieving. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling, even if it doesn't match the season's expected emotions.
Your loss is valid. Whether you've lost a pet, a family member, or a friend, grief doesn't follow a hierarchy. The depth of your love determines the depth of your grief, and that love is personal and real.
Find gentle ways to remember. Perhaps it's placing their favorite toy on the mantel, making a donation to an animal shelter in their memory, or sharing stories about them with people who understand. These small acts of remembrance can help bridge the gap between loss and healing.
Create space for both grief and joy. I caught myself smiling at a holiday movie yesterday, then immediately felt a little guilty. But I'm learning that moments of happiness don't dishonor our grief – they're proof that love persists even through loss.
It’s important to remember the power of the present moment.
The hardest lesson I'm learning is that grief isn't linear. Some moments I can talk about Pepper (even though it’s only been a few days) or Merlin with a smile, remembering their goofy antics and loving natures.
To those facing their own losses this holiday season: I see you. Whether your grief is fresh like mine or has weathered many seasons, your feelings matter. Maybe this year, our holiday traditions can expand to include remembrance alongside celebration, tears alongside laughter, absence alongside presence.
And to my sweet Pepper: thank you for every moment of joy, every lesson in unconditional love, and for making my life infinitely brighter. You are deeply missed, especially this holiday season as the girls and I create new Christmas traditions in our new home as we begin this next chapter of life.
With Love & Gratitude,
Sarah Prout.
Thank you for the reminder - it’s ok. Much love and gentle hugs to you 🩵