An Open Letter To A Struggling (Yet Hopeful) Past Version Of Myself
My future self is writing back nearly 14 years later
I recently stumbled upon this photo of me from 2009 when I was living at my mother's house in Noosa, Australia leading up to my divorce. I was up to my eye-balls in debt and I remember my daughter Olivia took this photo of me. It's a frozen snapshot in time, but what you can't see is the worry, concern and fear I had for the future. Little did I know that life would radically transform in just a matter of a few years.
Today, I wanted to write a letter to 2009 Sarah Prout. I wanted to do this as a way to release any lingering energetic cords or tiny remnants that might be mildly attached. This is also somewhat of a reverse version of a “future self” letter.
So here goes..
Dear 2009 Version of Me,
Remember when you wanted to become a manifesting teacher all those years ago before you left Mr. Ex Husband? Remember when you used to write to me, your future self, hoping/trusting that one day life would be better?
Well the good news is that it is.
We've been on a wild adventure. Many manifestations that are probably too numerous to list have materialized. I know you're not a bragger (and you're still not), so let's just say that what you are worrying about right now in 2009 is not the case in 2023.
In fact, I'm sitting here right now writing this letter from Sag Harbor, New York. It's really peaceful here in The Hamptons in the fall. Yes, I say fall now. I'm actually an American now too - something you never would have guessed.
I'm looking out the window as I write these words at a brand new car we purchased a few days ago. It's a far cry from the $2000 oh-so-crappy 1995 Nissan you will purchase in 2010 that will break down all the damn time. You’ll get to that chapter next year. And in 2010 you will meet and fall deeply in love with the love of your life.
I wanted you to know, if you can, and if time isn't as linear as we think it is, that the worry and fear wasn't/isn’t necessary. What you did right (however) was that you used your beautiful babies (Thomas and Olivia) to fuel a powerful path forward. You took inspired action to provide an amazing and stable life for your children. In fact, you will have two more children born in 2015 and 2016 after another season of struggle and loss - a story for another day.
You see, life has all sorts of ups and downs. And the biggest thing I have learned is that joy and grief sometimes unfold at the same time. And that you allow yourself to become the fullest version of who you are meant to be by what you intentionally allow into your life.
If you allow drama, then you attract more drama.
If you allow love, then you attract more love.
It's a simple equation that I know seemed so overwhelming in 2009.
Remember when you used to visualize me, and where I am now? Remember in our meditations we would hug each other and you would notice the few silver stands in my hair and the tiny lines forming around my eyes? Well, that's my now experience.
And the wondrous thing is that right now there is a Sarah Prout writing an open letter to the 2023 version of me probably from way off in the distance. I’m sure she’s hugging us both. Laptops may even seem as outdated as typewriters are now. I guess time will tell and is telling.
Anyway, I love you. Thank you for being open to allowing all of the good things to manifest in the spirit of the Law of Attraction. Please hug little Thomas and Olivia, I miss them now they are all grown and out of the nest.
With Infinite Gratitude,
Sarah xo
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If you feel moved or inspired by this letter then I highly encourage you to try this process for yourself. It actually felt quite cathartic - or maybe it's just ridiculous. My guess is that the distinction is in your willingness to give it a try and see how you feel.
With Love and Gratitude,
Sarah Prout (2023) xo
PS. If you want to read more about my story then please check out my latest book (now in paperback) called Be The Love: A Woman's Journey From Fear To Freedom.