6 Powerful Ways to Establish Emotional Boundaries
Nurturing Resilience and Empowering Boundaries for Emotional Liberation
Let me begin by sharing my qualifications for writing about this topic.
Unfortunately, I have firsthand experience with the intricate nature and lasting effects of violence. You may be familiar with my Goalcast video on surviving domestic violence, which has garnered over 80 million+ views. Let's just say it's been a long and arduous path to heal from my own pain.
That being said, I must also confess that I have been physically violent throughout my life and have struggled with setting emotional boundaries.
Admitting this isn't easy, but I delve into it extensively in my latest book, "Be The Love." This book explores the manifestation of deep emotional boundaries within oneself to cultivate happiness and embark on a journey of healing.
"There is a field beyond rightdoing and wrongdoing. I'll meet you there." - Rumi
When we make mistakes, it's crucial to acknowledge them and initiate the healing process.
If you have ever lashed out at someone, chances are you feel remorseful afterward. I know I have, behind closed doors and throughout my life.
Each time I've acted out, a "shame cloud" has hung over my head, necessitating time, therapy, and space to pave a way forward.
I have undertaken significant introspective work in this area, enabling me to instantly recognize the pain experienced by those who lash out and resort to violence, whether physical or verbal.
The journey to healing is a delicate balance of self-compassion, boundary-setting, kindness, and forgiveness.
So here it is, from my own perspective. I'm intrigued to discover what resonates with you in your own life.
6 Powerful Ways to Create Emotional Boundaries
1. Remember that violence is never the solution
Responding with violence only exacerbates problems. This is why we teach our children not to engage in physical altercations, right? I recall my ex-husband telling me that he was raised to believe in retaliating when someone hits you, while I was taught that two wrongs don't make a right.
Violence manifests when we feel powerless and unable to control our emotional state.
Boundary idea: Breathe through the emotions and maintain your composure.
2. You have the power to choose your reaction
The actions we choose always carry energetic consequences. When someone offends or mistreats you, you can assert your power by choosing not to respond. Don't give it the time of day.
Spend your energy wisely. As an autonomous being, you always have a choice. Embrace your power and remember your own truth.
Boundary idea: Choose love over fear and recognize the agency you possess in determining your response.
3. Avoid making assumptions
The media often presents us with fragmented snapshots of complex stories and issues. The same applies to our own personal dramas and periods of turmoil. Consequently, we are left to decipher intentions, meanings, and causes. Unless we were present, it is virtually impossible to understand how someone reaches a boiling point and resorts to violence to resolve a situation. We may not truly want to know what transpired.
Boundary idea: Mind your own business.
4. Break free from the addiction to drama
Most (not all) magazines, media outlets, and advertising campaigns target your doubts, insecurities, and fears. This is not a recent phenomenon.
Just take a look at the predictable popularity of reality TV. We find ourselves glued to the screen when something negative, juicy, or unfortunate occurs. These shows are intentionally produced to cater to our curiosity and fuel our addiction to drama.
Boundary idea: Turn off the TV.
5. Hurt people hurt people
If you have experienced pain, there's no need to perpetuate the cycle. School bullies, online trolls, cheaters, and individuals with narcissistic tendencies (I am really hesitant to use labels here) are all wounded people trapped in dysfunctional cycles that they have the power to break. Some need is not being fulfilled on a deeper level. Beliefs were ingrained before the age of seven, but the beauty lies in our ability to effect change.
Boundary idea: Lead with love and kindness, and always remember that you are enough.
6. Remember to Feel, Heal + Reveal
In my book, "Be The Love," I introduce a powerful three-step process called Feel, Heal, and Reveal.
Feel: Allow yourself to wholeheartedly explore your emotions and activate your intuition. Achieve this by seeking alignment, embracing truth, grounding yourself in your body, and striving for unity instead of separation.
Heal: Embrace your imperfections, surrender to what is, and become more intentional in your life. Take responsibility for your well-being and your purpose on this planet.
Reveal: Trust that you are constantly guided on your journey and have access to infinite wisdom and inspired ideas that will illuminate an empowered path forward.
Boundary idea: The next time you find yourself needing to calm down, try the Feel, Heal, and Reveal process from "Be The Love" for yourself.
Sending you the energy of love and light,
Sarah Prout.
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