10 Things I've Learned From 10 Years Of Marriage
Today we're celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary 💜
Ten years ago today, on the 21st of September (2013) I married Sean Patrick Simpson (the love of my life) in Las Vegas, Nevada. This first decade of marriage has been a wild ride and worth every single moment. I have grown so much and added many new tools to my spiritual toolbox that would not have been possible without being in the sacred container of marriage that I share with this incredible human.
To be clear, our marriage has not been perfect. At times we've both nearly called it quits, which I speak about extensively in my book BE THE LOVE.
We’ve raised four kids together, created somewhat of an empire together, and navigated numerous trials and tribulations.
However, after all of the ups and downs, I also feel like we're just getting started and our relationship keeps getting better over time.
Here are 10 things I've learned from 10 years of marriage...
NOTE: All of these things have been tried and tested, and they are also the result of excellent mentorship, marriage counseling, extensive reading on the subject and a willingness to do the work...
1. Allow Space
When disagreements occur, allow space for emotional processing, rather than trying to force resolution. This was one of the biggest lessons that took me the longest to master. Not everything needs to be figured out immediately. Sean reminded me that it's been very rare for us to argue and not come back together energetically within 24-48 hours.
2. Mutual respect and trust is everything
When those elements are broken it creates issues. However, both respect and trust are exquisite emotional gifts that you can give your partner. Because of my past, trust issues have historically been a pain point that needed some work and I'm grateful for Sean's patience despite my steep learning curve over the years.
3. The remedy for resentment is open communication.
It's important to remember that your spouse is not a mind-reader and so it's imperative to articulate your needs and speak the truth faster.
4. Read: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by Dr. John Gray
We met Dr. John Gray on our yacht adventure to France/Italy/Monaco in 2022 and his work and wisdom was a game-changer for our marriage to honor the divine masculine and divine feminine energy within.
5. Say I LOVE YOU and I SEE YOU
Really connect with your spouse and mean it.
6. Be willing to say sorry
Be willing to say sorry and apologize for being a jackass when you are being a jackass. Mentors of ours once told us: "Would you rather be right, or would you rather be in love?" Note: only apologize when you feel ready. A fake apology or premature apology can sometimes make things worse.
7. Laugh as much as you can
There are times when Sean and I have shared so much laughter that we drop to the floor because we can't breathe. We also never run out of things to talk about because we're both constantly learning new things and have new things to share to bring to the conversation table.
8. Have good sex and make love, often
Make the kind of love that makes you see energy sparkling in the bedroom after the act. Physical union is important, as is regular affection. This bonds your souls together.
9. Hold the criticism
It's just unnecessary. Dr. Phil once said to hold awareness as to whether you are contributing to the relationship or contaminating it.
10. Set powerful intentions together as a mutual support system
This is future-pacing the love that you will continue to share and that will continue to grow over time.
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Please feel free to share this with your spouse or friends that needs a little support in the marriage/relationship department. I hope this helps!
With Love and Gratitude,
Sarah Prout. xo
ps. To my Sean, I love you and I see you. 💜 Thank you for being here.